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vote for the right honourable mp, dick taitor mp

Yes, Mr. Taitor is currently running for councillor of the Fenland North constituency. Mr. Taitor, or Dick to his chums, has spent too long under a Tory ruling, and thinks it's time for change!

Mr. Taitor has formed his own party, the C.B.A. Party (short for Can't Be Arsed).

These are objectives and targets Mr. Taitor will stick to:-

1) Nicholas Leeson, with his vast experience in financial details, will take over as Chancellor. He will rename The Mint, to The Toffee, and instead of using a lot of notes and different coins, he will just keep the penny. Credit cards will have pin numbers removed, to reduce the wear of the buttons on cash machines.

2) Lamp posts will be made, so that they float in the air. This will reduce the amount of drunks roaming the streets, because they cannot have the enjoyment of bumping into lamp posts.

3) Educashun is a very importunt thing to no. Gramur shood be tout in evry scool around!!! Cockney will be tout in evry scool four CGES, sory, GSEC, no, GCSE, well whatever.

4) With their shared experience in warfare and weaponary, Messrs. Gerry Adams and Sadman Insaine will co-operate with the Ministry of Defence. They will spearhead the forming of Blighty.

5) The National Anthem will be played before every commercial break between programs on ITV, Channel 4 and Channel 5.

6) Millennium Domes will be found in every town in Blighty. Millennium Skyscrapers will be found in every village, parish and hamlet. These domes and skyscrapers will be used to hold bingo nights and ballroom dancing.

7) All football clubs will buy German players, and leave them on the subsitutes bench. This way, every time Blighty plays Germany in European Championships or World Cups, the German team will have a poor form, and we should win easily!

8) Instead of wasting time learning Foreign languages, all schools will learn GCSE Cockney. It's either that, or Welsh!

9) The Ministry Of Sound will actually be a proper ministry, and not a pretend one. Pete Tong will be the MP, representing an uncomfirmed part of London.

10) Michael Schumacher will be elected for Ministry Of Transport. He will add a nought on every speed sign. This will mean that speed limits of 60mph will be 600mph, which will reduce the number of recorded accidents, because the offending driver will be driving too fast to stop and give details.

11) Esctasy and coccaine will be passed on to every household in Blighty, particually the criminals. This will reduce the amount of non-drug-related crimes.

12) Lottery money will be spent ressurecting great British companies, such as Spam, Rolls Royce, London Underground, and many others.

13) Thirteen is unlucky, and will be made illegal.

 

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