poor quality jokes

Q : What do you get if you cross a kangaroo with a sheep?
A : A Wooly Jumper.
Explain : The sheep has wool, and a kangaroo jumps, so when one crosses the wool from a sheep, with a jumping kangaroo, you will get a wooly jumper, which is an article of clothing worn in the cold days of winter. It makes sense really!

Q : What do you call a fish with no eyes?
A : Fsh.
Explain : When one say this joke out loud, the word 'eye' could mean the letter 'i'. Therefore, a fish without an 'i' would be pronounced fsh. It's simple really.

Q : Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A : Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Explain : Chewing gum which is left on the floor often sticks to one's foot when one tread on it. In this case, it's the chicken's foot. For some reason, it's always the chicken who crosses the road, and the chewing gum also crossed the road, because it was on the chicken's foot. Logical or what?

Q : What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
A : Find half a maggot in your apple.
Explain : If one find half a maggot in ones apple, then perhaps one have eaten the other half. To the normal human, eating a maggot would be reasonably disgusting. Finding a whole maggot in your apple will mean that one has not eaten it, therefore, one can discard it from the apple before one eats it.

Q : What is the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant?
A : A few hundred miles.
Explain : The question, at first glance, would seem to ask for physical differences between the two elephants. Unless one knows about elephants in detail, then this may prove a difficult question. However, it is a joke, and it meant the distance between the two elephants. It's not very funny, but what is?

Q : What is black, white and red all over.
A : A newspaper.
Explain : The question states that the item in question contains the colours white, black and red. However, when the joke is read out loud, the colour red, could mean read, as in reading a newspaper. Newspapers are normally printed in black and white, and a good newspaper is read all over. Simple stuff.

Q : What's the difference between a Skoda and a Lada?
A : You can store food in a Lada.
Explain : A Skoda and a Lada are similar cars with similar specification. The joke asks for the difference. Unless you know a fair bit about cars, you might not be able to tell the difference. However, a larder is another name for a cupboard, where food is stored. Saying this joke out loud, Lada and Larder can get confused, and it's as confusing as that.

Q : What is a horse's favourite TV programme?
A : Neigh-bours
Explain : The typical horse make a Neigh type of noise. Neighbours is an Aussie soap, shown on BBC. When you say Neighbours, you can exaggerate the Neigh part of Neighbours, to sound like a horse. Therefore, the horse would watch Neighbours, because it sounds like something it would say. Or something!

Q : What do cows smoke?
A : Beef Joints
Explain : When a cow is in it's "edible" form, then it is normally referred to as beef. A joint is a slang name for smokable substances, such as marajuana. Therefore, a beef joint could mean a marajuana joint, which is smoked by cows. This joke didn't come out of a cracker either!

Q : Jack bought a plot of land from a retired farmer for £1000. This was down a country lane in Somerset. Jack decided that the area where he lived was too noisy being in the city. He decided to build a bungalow. Firstly, he laid the foundations. He built the walls using bricks and then put slatted boards and painted them white. He built the roof, using roofing slates. Of course, he also remembered the chimney. After everything was built, he decided to decorate the inside. He laid the carpet down first, pinning it carefully. The carpet was a maroon colour, which matched his three-piece suite very nicely. He decided to buy some white wallpaper, and he pasted that very carefully. He also painted the doors and window frames white, to match the wallpaper. Considering all that Jack has done, what colour should the stairs be?
A : Bungalows don't have stairs
Explain : If you actually read the joke fully, then well done! Anyway, all that waffle was suppose to disguise the fact that the house was in fact a bungalow (mentioned early on in the joke) and does not have any stairs as such. It's not really a joke, more of a question, but it had to be asked somewhere on my site...