This is the page for people who know a bit about computers, but don't find them amusing. Alternatively, if you don't know about computers, you can
find out what not to know about them. Confused? You will be!
Dumps - There is a type of memory called RAM. As the
farmers amongst you may know, a ram is a type of sheep.
Going for a dump is an expression used, meaning going for
a crap. Therefore, memory dumps simply define as Sheep's
Crap. Simple really.
- Mother of the Sonboard, wife to the Fatherboard.
- File Allocation Tables. Used to store disks with files
on, and the odd electricity bills. Also available, File
Allocation Shelves, File Allocation Cupboards and File
- The name given to a Scottish geezer's computer system.
Drive - I'll let your imagination decide.
- Ker-ching, ker-ching, ker-ching. It's the chips which
run money programs. Useful for banks.
- Micro meaning Small, Soft meaning Woosies. An
organisation which have small amount of woosies. In other
words, they're well 'ard. They're gonna beat ya up!
(1) - Opposite of Outernet. Duh!
(2) - The official name for Inter Milan Football Club's
Website (Starring Ronaldo!)
- Megahertz - The amount of pain given out by a computer
when it electocutes someone.
- The opposite of Outtel.
- The opposite of Intel!
- A network of Scottish computer systems, on a long table.
- Given that name, because people try to unlock passwords.
Interrupt - Going to a college/office technician
during their tea-break, to tell them the network is down.
Interrupts - Going to a college/office technician
during a Heretic tournament, to tell them the network is
- What people do to Chips, in order to eat them up!
- A computer is BIOSed when it crashes to certain people.
- I think they make ice cream cones. It is also what you
say when you are not too sure about something and you go
and ask the gaffer. The American inventor was sexist, and
called it 'Ask He'
- A term used to define Rabies. It kills you and it is
passed on by bites.
- An abbreviation. Used by Americans who are trying to
solve a spreadsheet. Came from the sentence "Pass
Density - A floppy disk, which has more room for
corrupt sectors than a normal disk.
- A French abbrieviation, basically meaning 'La Syster
Temporarie', which is a temporary sister. Kind of like
adoption, only that you can have a refund after a while.
- I've forgotten. Doh!
- Comes before F-Mail, and after D-Mail.
- Repetitive Strain Injury. This normally occurs in the
neck area, after banging your head against the wall when
Windows has crashed.
- Another year, another sucessful MicroSoft product?
Bar - Called Space Bar, because of the amount of
keyboard space it takes up...
- This is a screen which is used in a college/office to
show that the computer user is not working, but dossing
'95 - Despite the number of boffins working for
MicroSoft, they fail to realise that 95 doesn't come
after 3! The number they require is 4! I might be wrong,
but can somebody tell me what happened to Windows 4 to
Windows 94? THERE ARE 90 VERSIONS OF WINDOWS MISSING!!!!!!!!!
Files - These are available from most hardware stores.
The set includes a nail file, a metal file, and an X file.
Basically, it's a batch of three different files.
Site - This was given the name Web Site, because it
just sits there on the server, waiting to be updated. It
never does, and cobwebs eventually creep in.
Scanner - I am not sure why these are called Hand
Scanners... I mean, every time I try to scan my hand with
one, it never comes out!
Engines - Used for people who have ridiculously long
website addresses, and can't remember what it is.
- A net that works. Seems obvious really...
- A programming language, mainly used for internet sites.
The name comes from the Bolivian company's e-mail address,
which was email@example.com
- A component invented by the French subsidary of
Microsoft. It was formally known as Active, until someone
broke it, or, as the French would say "Le Active Ex.",
meaning ex-active (no longer active). So it is basically
a Microsoft invention that no longer works.
- A movie file. Comes before NPEG and after LPEG.
- A tent in which native F's live in.
next update (perhaps)...