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the millennium dome

Although the Millennium celebrations have pretty much died down now, this is still the web page dedicated to nasty (and a few not-so-nasty) things about the Millennium Dome. I don't know a lot about it, so most of the information here will apply to almost any other dome-shaped building. A good majority of this information is not endorsed by any government people or any other geezers with a hand in the dome. It's all just for fun.. honest! No slease here

Uses for a Millennium Dome

1 - Celebrate the year 2000.

2 - Cover it in brown fur, and place 100 20ft spikes on the top. Put two eyes on the side, and a cheesy grin, and you have a really, really big hedgehog. Call it "Spiney Norman" as a tribute to Monty Python... Grimsdale!!!

3 - Erect a 1000ft sign saying "Mine Field. Beware!". This will stop big monsters, such as King Kong, attacking London.

4 - Hold a massive rave (wouldn't be bad either!)

5 - Turn it upside down, and use it for skateboarding.

6 - Turn it upside down, and make a really, really big fry-up.

7 - Create another dome in Hackney, and make England look as if it has breasts (from space, of course!)

8 - Tell NASA that an alien spaceship has landed in London, and sell it to them for research for double the building price.

9 - Hold a large circus.

10 - Hold the World Cup in it.

11 - Turn it upside down, and use it as a really, really big pond!

12 - Set light to it for the year 2001.

13 - Thirteen's unlucky, therefore, nothing applies here.

14 - Turn it upside down, paint it brown, fill it with Mashed Potato, and claim to have the largest Jacket Potato on Earth!

15 - Chuck it over to Iraq, just before any nuclear bombs go off. This will act as a shield, which will completely oblitherate Sadman Insane, and not the rest of the world.

16 - Send it out to sea, and use as a small island.

17 - Cover it in snow, and call it a mountain.

18 - Hold Star-Trek conventions.

19 - Hold Suede concerts (in the potting shed 10 metres outside of it).

20 - Use it as an interesting feature for a round-about.

21 - Do nothing with it.

22 - Use it as a prison.

23 - Dress it up as a birthday cake, and give it to someone who eats a lot.

24 - Use it as a prop for the U.K. version of Independance Day.

25 - Paint stripes on it for no reason whatsoever.

26 - Use it as a really, really big lampshade.

27 - Use it as a really, really big greenhouse.

28 - Use it as a really, really big sauna.

29 - Use it as a really, really big jelly mould.

30 - Use as a really, really big umbrella, in conjuction with Canary Warf.

31 - Use as a really, really big tea-pot cosy.

32 - Glue fake ice cubes around it, and claim that's the only warehouse-sized igloo for miles!

33 - Glue two of them together, send them into Space, and use as a second moon.

34 - Use them as speed bumps (for very, very big cars!)

35 - Use it as a really, really big hat.

36 - Use it as a feature for a really, really big crazy golf site.

37 - Use it to store the Millennium Bug.

38 - Keep dodgy goods inside it.

39 - Use it as a modern looking bomb shelter.

40 - Fill it with air, and use it as a bouncy castle.

41 - Use it as a really, really big swimming cap.

42 - Use it as an object to draw large circles (such as corn circles).

43 - Flip it on its side, and use it as a really, really big satellite system.

44 - Use it as a really, really big fruit bowl.

45 - Use it as a really, really big ash tray.

46 - Stick it onto large cases, to stop the corners from being damaged.

47 - Use it as one of those things which stop table legs marking the carpet.

48 - Use it as a really, really big diaphragm for a speaker.

49 - Put a really, really big light inside it and use it as a really, really big quiz-show buzzer.

50 - Make it transparent, and use it as a really, really big contact lens.

51 - Use it for the nib of a really, really big ballpoint pen (requires two).

52 - Place 6 of them around Britain, paint Britain yellow, and Britain would look like a really, really big Lego brick.

53 - Wire it up to a very large amount of current. That way, if anyone tries to steal it, they may get a little shock! Even if they do steal it, it may not fit in their van!

54 - Bring back the TV show 'The Crystal Maze' and use it as the Crystal Dome.

55 - Use it as a very, very big crash hat.

56 - Use it as a replacement for Wembley Stadium. (Twin Towers, or single dome?)

57 - Put it against Prince Charles' ear, and then he can hear the sea...

58 - Put a large, blue flashing light inside it, and pretend the whole of England is overrun with Metropolitan Police.

59 - Get a large baseball bat, and try and flatten it.

60 - Paint it a very, very bright fluorecent yellow, and mess up telescopes and stuff in Space.

61 - Use it as a running wheel, for elephants.

62 - A home for the homeless.

63 - Turn it upside down, and glue a very large model of Alan Shearer in it, and play Giant International Subbuteo (may need a powerful finger to flick them!)

64 - Place it on top of very, very large bottle tops, and use to unscrew them.

65 - Turn it upside down, put a pole on the bottom, and use it as a very, very large Olympic torch.

66 - Tie a piece of string to the top of the Dome. Tie the other end of the string to another Dome in another country, and use it as a very, very large (but primitive) phone.

 

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