the millennium dome
Although the Millennium celebrations have pretty much died down now, this is still the web page dedicated to nasty (and a few not-so-nasty) things about
the Millennium Dome. I don't know a lot about it, so most of the information here will apply to almost any other dome-shaped building. A good majority of
this information is not endorsed by any government people or any other geezers with a hand in the dome. It's all just for fun.. honest! No slease here
Uses for a Millennium Dome
1 - Celebrate the
2 - Cover it in
brown fur, and place 100 20ft spikes on the top. Put two
eyes on the side, and a cheesy grin, and you have a
really, really big hedgehog. Call it "Spiney Norman"
as a tribute to Monty Python... Grimsdale!!!
3 - Erect a 1000ft
sign saying "Mine Field. Beware!". This will
stop big monsters, such as King Kong, attacking London.
4 - Hold a massive
rave (wouldn't be bad either!)
5 - Turn it upside
down, and use it for skateboarding.
6 - Turn it upside
down, and make a really, really big fry-up.
7 - Create another
dome in Hackney, and make England look as if it has
breasts (from space, of course!)
8 - Tell NASA that
an alien spaceship has landed in London, and sell it to
them for research for double the building price.
9 - Hold a large
10 - Hold the
World Cup in it.
11 - Turn it
upside down, and use it as a really, really big pond!
12 - Set light to
it for the year 2001.
13 - Thirteen's
unlucky, therefore, nothing applies here.
14 - Turn it
upside down, paint it brown, fill it with Mashed Potato,
and claim to have the largest Jacket Potato on Earth!
15 - Chuck it over
to Iraq, just before any nuclear bombs go off. This will
act as a shield, which will completely oblitherate Sadman
Insane, and not the rest of the world.
16 - Send it out
to sea, and use as a small island.
17 - Cover it in
snow, and call it a mountain.
18 - Hold Star-Trek
19 - Hold Suede
concerts (in the potting shed 10 metres outside of it).
20 - Use it as an
interesting feature for a round-about.
21 - Do nothing
22 - Use it as a
23 - Dress it up
as a birthday cake, and give it to someone who eats a lot.
24 - Use it as a
prop for the U.K. version of Independance Day.
25 - Paint stripes
on it for no reason whatsoever.
26 - Use it as a
really, really big lampshade.
27 - Use it as a
really, really big greenhouse.
28 - Use it as a
really, really big sauna.
29 - Use it as a
really, really big jelly mould.
30 - Use as a
really, really big umbrella, in conjuction with Canary
31 - Use as a
really, really big tea-pot cosy.
32 - Glue fake ice
cubes around it, and claim that's the only warehouse-sized
igloo for miles!
33 - Glue two of
them together, send them into Space, and use as a second
34 - Use them as
speed bumps (for very, very big cars!)
35 - Use it as a
really, really big hat.
36 - Use it as a
feature for a really, really big crazy golf site.
37 - Use it to
store the Millennium Bug.
38 - Keep dodgy
goods inside it.
39 - Use it as a
modern looking bomb shelter.
40 - Fill it with
air, and use it as a bouncy castle.
41 - Use it as a
really, really big swimming cap.
42 - Use it as an
object to draw large circles (such as corn circles).
43 - Flip it on
its side, and use it as a really, really big satellite
44 - Use it as a
really, really big fruit bowl.
45 - Use it as a
really, really big ash tray.
46 - Stick it onto
large cases, to stop the corners from being damaged.
47 - Use it as one
of those things which stop table legs marking the carpet.
48 - Use it as a
really, really big diaphragm for a speaker.
49 - Put a really,
really big light inside it and use it as a really, really
big quiz-show buzzer.
50 - Make it
transparent, and use it as a really, really big contact
51 - Use it for
the nib of a really, really big ballpoint pen (requires
52 - Place 6 of
them around Britain, paint Britain yellow, and Britain
would look like a really, really big Lego brick.
53 - Wire it up to
a very large amount of current. That way, if anyone tries
to steal it, they may get a little shock! Even if they do
steal it, it may not fit in their van!
54 - Bring back
the TV show 'The Crystal Maze' and use it as the Crystal
55 - Use it as a
very, very big crash hat.
56 - Use it as a
replacement for Wembley Stadium. (Twin Towers, or single
57 - Put it
against Prince Charles' ear, and then he can hear the sea...
58 - Put a large,
blue flashing light inside it, and pretend the whole of
England is overrun with Metropolitan Police.
59 - Get a large
baseball bat, and try and flatten it.
60 - Paint it a
very, very bright fluorecent yellow, and mess up
telescopes and stuff in Space.
61 - Use it as a
running wheel, for elephants.
62 - A home for
63 - Turn it
upside down, and glue a very large model of Alan Shearer
in it, and play Giant International Subbuteo (may need a
powerful finger to flick them!)
64 - Place it on
top of very, very large bottle tops, and use to unscrew
65 - Turn it
upside down, put a pole on the bottom, and use it as a
very, very large Olympic torch.
66 - Tie a piece
of string to the top of the Dome. Tie the other end of
the string to another Dome in another country, and use it
as a very, very large (but primitive) phone.